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Be a Man

November 12, 2010

On Wednesday night I talked about being a man. Naturally I talked to the guys in the room,but that doesn’t mean the girls couldn’t listen. In fact I encouraged the ladies to listen that way when it comes time to date or seriously look for someone to marry they don’t end up with some bum. Anyhow…

If you would look at culture today you will see that our society is pushing adolescence back farther and farther. In fact I read the other day that the average video game user is 35. Bottom line: Our kids aren’t growing up. More than that, our boys aren’t growing into Godly men. I don’t know when but somewhere it became acceptable for boys not to grow into men. Society can make it culturally acceptable, but the Bible doesn’t. And that is what we preached.

I outlined how God through out the Bible uses men, Christ picked 12 men, and in 1 Tim. 3 Paul gives some requirements of men.This passage is for leadership qualifications, and without twisting it, I believe that is applies to all men. We are to lead our lives the way God commands. Here are some thoughts from 1 Tim. 3.

  • Get married Once this happens, you are locked in forever. Be a one woman man. If your not married, don’t be chasing a bunch of women aimlessly.
  • Be self- controlled- Basically be a stand up kind of guy that people respect and look to see Christ.
  • Love your family well- Trust God for everything. Work hard, love your wife, kids and family.

Our little boys need to grow up and be men.

Thoughts?

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. November 12, 2010 11:00 am

    Some good thoughts.

    Are video games wrong? I have found those to be a great way for guys to simply get together and have some pretty intense conversations. If you mean it in the way of sitting for three hours daily playing video games, then I can see where you’re coming from.

    The other thing, and I think this is more important, is what is the definition of a man? I think there is a stigma that a “man” is some hunter, fisher guy that grunts and scratches his crotch a lot. This really marginalizes males that simply will never be drawn to that but will be drawn to things that have been labeled as feminine (which is a cultural issue, not a manly issue).

    Definitely agree that culture (or more parents) are not providing a structure for adolescence to happen, thus elongating it. Lots of structural mishaps in the formation of a guy nowadays.

  2. Benjamin Davis permalink*
    November 12, 2010 11:05 pm

    You make good points Ben.

    1. Video games are not wrong. Anything that wastes your time, keeps you in your parents basement and not moving out of your parents home is bad.

    2. A man is not defined by scratching his crotch, hunting, or grunting. Being a man to be would be understanding the Gospel and letting it press on you to change the way you live. That fleshes itself out in many different ways for many guys. But there are a few things that are standard.

    3. Culture and society do shape, but parents and the Bible should shape more.

    Thoughts?

    • November 13, 2010 1:52 pm

      Paralleling this comment with the argument happening on Facebook. Had you added in more context to the video games comment, I think it would have clarified your point a little more. Otherwise, your example is much to poignant, which is why I asked about it. (Don’t get so insulted when people challenge how you structure your argument, if you’re going to submit an argument, you have to be ready for it to be picked apart…..just a thought bud 😉 )

      2. I often times wonder what your standard for being a man is? Maybe a future blog.

      3. Parents, culture, society and the Bible all interact with a person’s life. In a perfect world, children would grow up with two parents, that no longer happens on a regular basis; so how is the church going to create an alternative so negative cultural forces don’t overwhelm a single parent AND the kids? Those are areas that the church is failing at in many ways (there are a few guiding lights but still way too few). I wonder, again, how your views on things will change when you move to the inner city. Anytime you move into a different situation your cultural milieu is going to be shifted, I can’t wait to see what you learn from that.

      Your friend on FB had some good points. I am personally getting tired of the response “if you don’t like it don’t read it.” If people are going to publicly blog, then you need to be open to the good and bad comments. I don’t agree with how he approached the argument but you did make some pretty pointed comments to start it off. The other thoughts I can share privately.

      I like this post though, more people should have commented.

  3. November 30, 2010 7:42 am

    I know I’m late in commenting on this, but I do agree, there is a problem with the current model of the man. I agree with most of what you’ve said Ben [Davis]. I’m not sure you havee to get married (although I know I look forward to someday doing so) to be a man. But I think the main point of your argument there was to not chase girls around aimlessly, and with that I agree 100%.

    I think that responsibility, courage, and wisdom are some of the most important attributes of a true man.

    – Responsibility to take care of himself and the ones that he loves.

    – Courage to fight for what he believes in/what he loves. Courage to stick to his convictions would be another way of putting it.

    – Wisdom to know how to best accomplish his goals and also guide him.

    I so love the book “Wild at Heart” as a guide on becoming a true man of God. One of the author’s (John Eldridge) points in that book is that currently, the young boys are turning into “Really nice guys” that don’t know how to stand up for themselves or have lost their fight.

    Good post Ben, those are just my 2 cents.

    • Benjamin Davis permalink*
      November 30, 2010 9:32 pm

      Good Stuff Rodger. Thanks for reading. I like what you said, but I was curious on if you think being married makes you a man. I think you don’t have to be married for that to happen but I do believe that the Bible pushes us as men towards to that. Thoughts?

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