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A Look Into A Soul (Long But Worth Your Time… I Promise.) p1

June 22, 2009

First let me give you the context of this story I am about to tell you.

It has almost been a year since I have joined Facebook. Since that time Myself along with millions of other have made contact with old friends and also made new ones. This is a story about one of those friends.

When I started blogging one of the very first people to comment on my blog was a person by the name of Robin Stanga Monroe. Since then we have chatted a time or two on any number of different topics. Everything from music to politics and some few odd things in between.  She is maybe one of my coolest on line friends. She writes, is opinionated, plays roller derby, has tattoo’s and on top of all that she is a mother. From the looks of things, seems to be a pretty good one too.

Recently she posted a note on her Facebook page about something that seemed to get under her skin. Well… that was said nicely. She really posted a blurb about someone who is extremely annoying to her and to many others. In this post that she wrote something triggered a thought in me. And this is why I am writing this post. What she wrote gave me a look so to speak into her soul (bear with me I am trying to be a creative writer). Below you will find a excerpt of the post that she is the author of. By the way she is not ashamed of it, I told you she was cool. After you read it stop and think a little. Let it challenge you. Let it challenge the way you think. Let it challenge the way you see and treat others. And ultimately let it challenge your faith.

“Even though you and I attended the same school, studied under the same teachers, possibly had nearly the same education in our respective formative years, we’ve turned out very differently. I no longer call myself a Christian while you wear your Christ on your sleeve. But I know how The Story goes, even if I don’t consider it Gospel. I’ve read the words attributed to Christ and his early followers and if you believe everything you read, he was a pretty cool cat. A revolutionary thinker, an intentional societal outcast, a friend to lepers and whores, a Lover not a Fighter. (If I were going to take this rant the Political route, I’d also remind you that the Christ of The Gospels was homeless, had no paying job during the time of his ministry, and relied entirely on the generosity of others for food, shelter and transportation. What little money was generously handed to him and his followers was spent and shared from a common purse. I daresay this sounds enough like Welfare and Socialism to make any good Conservative shudder. But I digress….)

So, I guess what I’m getting at is this: Are you for real? Or just posing? Cuz I seriously can’t tell. And isn’t that the point of Christianity, all that set-apart “in the world but not of the world” stuff? And didn’t your Jesus say that the greatest commandment is to Love? Didn’t he preach meekness and humility? Didn’t he say something about doing to others what you’d like done to you? Maybe you got too caught up in Mosaic Law and missed it but I’ve read it dude, I’m pretty sure he said all that. And I’m pretty sure he never said a word about shit-talkin’ on Gays, Asians, Lesbians, Welfare Recipients, Environmentalists, Feminists, Fat Chicks, Baby Seals and Black People (or “coloreds” ad you call them albeit with a wink, wink.) And that shit is all OVER your Twitter. So I’m confused. I’m just calling you on it, cuz I know you paid good money for a degree from a Christian College and I’d hate to see it gone to waste. So would your mom.

I’m actually kind of wistfully envious of people who profess A Faith. I wish I could be ever-certain that I Am Right. But, if I believed so fervently, so certainly in something as BIG as The One True God and His Divine Will, I’d certainly be careful with straddling fences. If I was to ‘fess up to being something so elusive and responsibility-bearing as a True Christian, I’d make sure I was consistently acting like one and talking like one and loving like one. At least in public. Lest I get smitten with brimstone, or worse yet, confronted with my hypocrisy. In public.

Check yo’self.

Freedom Fighter and Facebook Vigilante”

5 Comments leave one →
  1. CindyK permalink
    June 22, 2009 3:09 pm

    HAHAH! I love her. I was like her for a time. 🙂

    I’m betting she finds the truth, because she’s obviously looking. She’s obviously been doing her research! And she’s right. 🙂

    She’s just hung up on the hypocrisy thing. And she will be until she realizes that we can’t be perfect here on this earth. There was only one perfect human. But we sure can strive to be. We can keep on trying.

    I love her Ben! Wish I was her friend.

  2. Benjamin Davis permalink*
    June 24, 2009 2:18 am


    Robin who reads this, I believe grew up knowing what Christians should look like and how they should act. I believe she went to high school where I graduated high school.

    I believe that she like many other people like her I know just want to see someone do it right before they jump in 100%.

    She def knows her stuff huh? Wink Wink. Thanks for reading … it is nice to know!

  3. June 24, 2009 1:32 pm

    Whoa! Hang on a second – what should Christians look like? I’m pretty dang certain that I don’t look like that. I don’t look like a perfect human being because I’m not one. I’m broken. I’m a mess. It is only through the grace of God that I am now where I am.

    And if people are waiting to see the one perfect human being in person, they missed it. He died 2000 years ago. But they can read about it any time they want in the New Testament. It was Jesus. He’s the only perfect person that will ever walk in this world.

    And I didn’t mean that her views were wrong – I agreed with her for the most part. I certainly didn’t mean it in a ‘holier than thou kind of way’ and I’m sorry if I worded it in such a way that you took it that way.

    When I said that I hoped she would find the truth the ‘truth’ I spoke of is this: We aren’t perfect. No human being is – Christian or otherwise. Every Christian struggles with the same things that every other person on the earth does. The difference is this: As followers of Christ we are forgiven, and we can stand on his strength, not our own, if we want too. But it’s not required.

    Do we sometimes act as if we know it all and are the only ones that do? Yep. So does every other human, cause that’s what we are: Humans.

    There are plenty of people that strive to live good lives, to be good decent human beings. But my own personal experience was that I could not do it on my own. In fact when I became a Christian about 3 years ago I was struggling with the fact that no matter how hard I tried, no matter /what/ I tried I could not be the person that Jesus was.

    I always believed in Jesus the man. I knew he was a true historical figure, and in my heart I thought believing that he was a man was a million times more beautiful than believing that he was a god. Because if this one gentle, loving man of strength could live like he did then there was hope for all of us to lead such a life.

    And that belief took me even deeper into the darkness of despair. I wanted to be good and loving all the time. If he could do it why couldn’t I? I never wanted to have the angry feelings I got when someone cut me off in traffic, or when someone was rude to me. I wanted to love everyone unconditionally all the time. I did not want to be judgmental. I wanted to serve humanity in a capacity that would make a real difference. I wanted that with my entire being.

    But standing on my own strength I failed!! Every time, Ben. I failed!!! I despaired even of my own life, and wished for the solace of death.

    That is why Theravada Buddhism was so appealing to me – which I found after my attempted suicide. It teaches that life is difficult and filled with sorrow and pain. The best any person can do is to try and step back from those horrors, change their mindset, and choose to serve and love others in the hopes that we might get a little closer to a final peace one day. That seemed so beautiful to me, until I realized the truth: that we can be forgiven – we can start over! No matter what horrors we’d gone through in our lives.

    It’s okay if we’re not perfect. It’s okay if we fail. It’s okay to be imperfect and to live in an imperfect world. I have to ask for forgiveness every single day, sometimes with each thought. And that’s okay. And the best part is that there is no more guilt and we don’t have to go it alone. We can stand on the strength of our Lord, who is not dead, but alive and wanting a relationship with us, every moment of every day.

    I’m a much better person than I used to be, and none of it is because of me. He’s changed my heart. I still slip, but he’s there to catch me before I fall.

    Are there hateful Christians? Yep. Are there self righteous ones? Sure. Am I hateful and self righteous sometimes? Sadly I must admit yes. Am I holier than thou? I try not to be, though I probably am sometimes. Ugh. I am not perfect, and in this world I never will be.

    All I’m trying to say is that I tried with all my heart, mind and soul to be ‘good’. And finally now I’m on the path to that goodness that I always desired, and not by my own strength.

    So why is it that we who admit to needing to stand on the strength of our Lord are always accused of not being perfect? I mean, isn’t being a Christian admitting to that very thing?

    And the bottom line is this: If we are forgiven, then we too need to forgive. We are all still worthy of love, respect, and goodness even if we are imperfect.

  4. Benjamin Davis permalink*
    June 25, 2009 2:35 am

    Cindy. I think I miscommunicated to you what I meant with my original comment after your first. I agree with everything you just said. I just meant that she is waiting for “someone to do it right”, I meant for someone to not act like they have it all together and put it down her throat.

    I think that she would love you. I know for a fact that she thinks I am one of the “good ones”, so I know that she would love you.

    And by the way… Thank you thank you for pouring out your soul to us. You would never had to do that to make your point. But you did and I am grateful, I love you CindyK!


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